I Prefer Not To.
why
do you not
hear these pleas
to reflect
my state of ruin?
how is it
such words project
inflections
paradoxical?
then,
to hear them
paraphrased
with such aberrant
intonation
altogether bastardizing
every crux
of their intention
what
pray tell
of my expression
disinherits
its avowal
moving you
to mock its merit
feigning ignorance
most foul
that there would
exist displeasure
sourcing
from outside oneself
is by no means
any measure
yours
had thus been
duly shelved
ashes eschewed
usher fall underfoot
the remnants
of endless days
gray
and despondent
shuttered
i no longer see
the trees taper
impressions
once flourishing
thought, sound, and feeling
flashing
in shrill peals
a tale stowed surreally
stolen
by flickering
madness
eluding
strangely retold
in a cold, bleak immersion
hours burned frigid
of infernal mind
rue forms a sordid soot
of the soul’s toiling
inward it folds
fueling lucifer’s fire
solitude broods
failures born of inaction
on mattresses
barren
time-worn
and forgotten
mottled
with mildewed crumbs
bones for a pillow
the contrast stings anguish
shone stark
with such loss
beyond even nightfall
its poignancy stretches
these truths
weep beside me
framed by the faint gloaming
the autumn dawn
breaches
as ardent
claims feigning
to never have cared
but the silence
she already knows
[image credit: H.J. Ford]
[image credit: Francisco Tamagno]
[images featuring: Mary Pickford]
hope
like humankind
is truly
the cruelest
if not all too usual
like a challenger deep
i could have easily
inhabited the trenches
of the great mariana
if left to my own devices
in a steady stream
of entropic existence
this, is not to say
that my soul would not
seep through the fissures
absconding to hellfire
in iron-core iconoclasm
my chosen paths
are minded with honors
and badges
it’s the acclimatization
and the stayed deprivation
that stave off the gravest of fates
. . . to be stricken
with the malignancy
of minded emotion
in the spur of the moment
to. . . argh
to, ~ f e e l ~.
for when i do
dimensions cry, uncle
as my watery ways
shear gaping rifts
through the planes of perception
. . .
i dwelled in detachment
living tortuous death
every breath a burden anew
but at least i knew~
now, time has wrought trickery
upon my soul’s dispossession
and the distance which spans
amid consequent disparity
has displaced my consciousness
landing a final blow
upon all i have known
rent by the unspent
tempestuous
turbulent
fervid
and festering
the influx of blustering
bombast so drastically
thrashing my breast
an impetuous
press against her lips
precious
all the years of my life
have always belonged
to her
this, i know
will inhabit my bed of dirt
when i greet the insect hordes
but more than just this
it was the mistle-streaked
visage since sallow and sullen
the culminating of hearts
acquiescing
a lifetime flashed before me
in that briefest of respite
much like a comet streaks
through a burst sky
only now
had its tail ensnared
the pulsating mass
fresh from my chest
and thus it was shot to the sun
in an instant
and such elucidation
diffused forces known
as gravity left me
to fall back to earth
nothing
can tell
of the ghastly descent
whence i combusted
to dust
from the old familiar sphere
of atmos and mir
thunderous crashing
i plunged into depths
the source of eternity’s tears
ever felled
in an instant
they passed through me
like ghost particles
colliding
i can no longer abide
let me now stay my tongue
take my leave
for this grievance
shall venture no more
boring all
like the sting
has bored holes
where my eyes once beheld–
let me tell
of no more
[image credit: Tess of the Storm Country (1922) featuring Mary Pickford]
never were worlds so condensed
crushing sounds of chaos crashing
the eve of shattered shells
shackled in rippling clamor
torn beyond arm’s length
bracing memories of bartered being
the aching void of absent panacea
toiling for passage
the sting of earned lament
forthwith abandoned
to stations conflicted by minds unsound
long trodden in tumult’s refrain
what burdens we carry in these chains we so cherish
fighting the sins born of heaven
hammering down upon hapless casts of dissevering clay
complexions so fragile
never straying from the vaulted eden of sanity’s mind
ceaseless hordes
in planate procession
fools fraught with erstwhile fixation
betraying the worth of the words carved unyielding
through the infamy of torrid tempest
feigned in fluster
with haste, forgotten
but some flourish ephemeral
~querabus in acquiescence
nonpareil without parallel~
sweltering seamen scout the echoing seas
to plunder the gifts of god’s glory
treasures unknown
to inhabit our hearts
belying these stagnant disfigured illusions
should gentle grace ameliorate
and the rapids arrive at a quietus lull
-they say voices spout melodies stealing the wind-
and here,
this pen spreads jilted verse with piteous affectation
in shades of redundant avowal
this, the pilfer of poets and priests
only in the threads of ethereal thought, does truth reign
neither bound by scientific bane
nor beholden to idle slight of ideal
the essence of knowledge sublime
that we find the one
and the other in spirit
when realms of spent flesh beckon nigh
we shall yet persist – in tether and thyme
the warmth of unspoken goodwill
stirs the ocean’s heart humble
like the fiery swells of our wounded earth’s rain
a feeling which none are to have known
ere we wander into the borealis of the soul’s aura
wading into the florid confluence
to taper off in eased undulation
neath the umbral sway of a burgeoning berth
[image credit: Tallmadge Doyle]
what have i to offer
but a meager mote of self-expression
remnants of a tortured mind
afflicted by a deep depression
thoughts i harvest in the twilight hours
born of dissociation
frantically expelled to quell these flights
of forlorn contemplation
ceaseless thoughts are wont to inundate
this restive mind’s obsession
woven of a tapestry of lost emotions coalescing
consequently baring far more than i might care to divulge
however, i will state emphatically
mine eye doth spy the bulge
honestly, i jest, for i am nothing but a human being
therefore, i’ve no predilection
per se, presaging the beating
of my weary seraphim seed shaped source of vermillion verve
which haplessly doth rattle in its calcitrated sentence served
dare not scoff for you must understand my state of staunch awareness
as pertaining to the nomenclature of the words i express
though, were we to meet in person
you might think i had been bludgeoned
stuffed into an oaken barrel left to ferment in an oven
for you see, my manner of speech
sourced directly from my mouth
indubitably instilss those who bear witness the gravest doubts
for i can scarcely muster by the most modest consideration
any eloquent coherent linguistic articulation
typically, i seem to warrant guffawing befuddlement
which is to say the kinder of responsive social sentiment
surely, you must think me to excessively exaggerate
when waxing on the foibles of how feebly i confabulate
incidentally, i was just now stricken with a thought tangential
as pertaining to the displeasure which airs most evidential
shouldst i catch an errant verse containing ‘words’ like ~conversate~
for such transgressions against proper grammar mine ire shan’t abate
in truth, mine inclination leans toward swift and ruthless whupping of ass
to whom its attached i care not
such affronts deserve the talus
agitated by a motion slight enough to trigger cataclysmic happenstance
ending in tortured death by fatal avalanche
much like when one vomits ~irregardless~ pray not, ~nucULAR~
every time i witness such foul fuckery mine soul despairs
which obviously holds no merit for i deviate at will
but such is the hypocrisy of human beings sloughing swill
truth be told this entire piece of prattle thou hast just consumed
was just about as pointless as a dunce cap in a state of ruin
on this note i take my leave, for i prefer to not remain
to pay the price of my misdeeds for which i care not to explain
our path has been chosen
by extrinsic forces
of dubious nature
on dangling carrots
posture and pith
from prostrate pathologies
intended to mend
fallow marrow maligned
strike hard
with thy naked appendage
impetuously
rend the high heavens
to tend thy text of crimson
cringing
in sidelong assumption
asserting to assuage the rage
riling others
a scythe
guarding blighted complexions
inflections of fiction
and lucid diffusion
confused by fuel pilfered
resourcing fates fiery
blazoning skies with effusion askew
by shadows eschewing
a charlatan’s love song
of sins inquisitioned
petitions since signed
all by silent submission
a wish begets naught
fraught with wisdom so dismal
appointed of self
sitting high
upon thrones of a thornless affliction
depicted tribunals of perilous impugn
and ruinous lexicons
hewn e’er anew
in lieu of a logic
no worth would lament for
to bellow the testaments
wrists sworn to masters
whose mustered perceptions predate precedent
predation of prideful impasse
nigh persistent
en masse and en vogue
as vague as eroded engravings
bestowed upon visages
vaunting of stark raving fools
who once gave up reason
sought e’er to appease
the internalized treason
with a tepid trepidation
to rectify constructs
through statues erected
their muse left neglected
bereft of the conquest
left factious
to sift through the sands
of said infidels fallen
reign of silt
failure-tainted
by tales, none can tell
if by audience quelled
spelled out involuntarily
vomit omitted
spit self-evinced victors
cresting lecterns ghost-flecked
by cleft-tongues cloaked most wicked
a sickness of man’s
heedless witness to warring
swarms breeding unbridled
imbrued with the bloodshed
a branding on blemished hands
time had forgotten
winced seconds
with soul rot
whence witlessly wrought
by savages sowing the brood
of their breast
by the roost of its beast
and dawn’s spawned beset by the wresting
with excess
and behest projected
of a faceless god’s
faith lost in fluster and fostered
through dreams none have seen
reach the gates of fruition
chagrin nestles parchment
from bouts sprayed with sanguine
mouths dripped
dropped agape
spewing greatness insisted
insipid as crackled paint
curling to a crumble
yet no lesser humble
addressing the sun
this purposeful refuse
usurped a prone species
whose pieces now pepper
the crusts of the cosmos
and corners of orifices
set to greed’s sating
beheading the state
of our sanctity stolen
and sanctioned existence
exiled to expire
and expel
[image credit: Sergius Hruby]
the continuum of time
o great revealer
of all truth
that shall ever be
obscurer of self
rapt in escape
dare not make
to moor the moment
for we are nothing
if not made
to flow
intertwined
immersed
in the effuse
of everlasting
love
only the heart supine
can breathe
the unending flight
of this precious gift
an existence
most peculiar
[image credit: Kay Nielsen]
Max, or Not 
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