Category: Heartache

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Solitude’s Descent

the struggle
to release my fears
from shackled shrills
of obscene silence

pulling further
down with every second

thought since spent

vile undertows
that know me well

spell out this hell
in heavy throes
below
where phantom prose
commiserates lament

each word
wafts ever wayward
in dissociative dimensions

obscured by the illusion
borne of urgency
forgone

enthralled by conscious calls
of a conspicuous collusion

that subdivide the lies
my conscience cries
to stay afloat

that i require
the fundamental sating
trapped in spurned epistles

e’er belies
what blissfully denies
my ignorance

which writhes on
muted shores
secluded

hopelessly exiled

as i succumb
to numbness

of my solitude’s descent

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social media rant revisited

depression sets in

cyclical perpetuity prying
clawing at the prefrontal cortex

altruistic assertions abundantly articulated
aimlessly amid atmospheres of apathetic arrogance

the pittance of positive people
professing palpable parable
is repeatedly passed over
spurned, and disparaged
for the perverted purpose of pandering
to the plight of pathetically puerile opponents
to placate their pathological penchant
for proliferated pandemonium

the spirit of selflessness
and subsequent sanctuary is subjugated
by solipsistic sentiments
that seem to spread
like pestilence plaguing the soporific populace

seeking to appease
the silent sect of surrogate shamers
tiptoeing through the treacherous tumult
presaging tales of omnipresent fear
with foreboding and pale trepidation

all too typically trivialized
by tiresome talk of intolerant tripe
tailored to tantalize stolid thinkers

in triumphant tantrums of truant intellect
inflecting in facetious affectation
fostering false intent so toilsome

tempting my intrinsic inclination
to defect and deactivate
with the hope of abating this state of inundated hatred
bred into my head by the hordes

of men faceless whose faith
one can only surmise to be heedless

so, needless to say my dismay
is with relevant reason
enough to release this lost soul
into sempiternal egress

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The Silence Reigns

the silence reigns
broken

a familiar smoke
potent with poignancy
awoke time
within itself

seeping through the rift
of heedless mind

every sense besotted
with tenses past
and present

disparity so stark
a nothingness became me

folding every breath of hope
upon an inward entropy

the truth thus revealed
through open eyes
omnipresent

had wracked my soul
in quantum rapt

of love i knew
will always know
will never be
again

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A Friend’s Goodbye

my dear old friend
what end has come
by no means just
to live this dream
from which your eyes cannot awaken
who dares to rob this vacant hell
from one so true
we knew so well

who’s laugh was always our’s to share
by which i mean “our” family
you had scrapped your way
inside hearts sworn rigid without erring

a friend of genuine regard
protector of my sisters’ honor
our mister Jesse “Lame” Stamper
my brother time forgot to spare

such vital energy once coursing
through the veins as though my own
but yours was rife with staunch resolve
and none have since dared
prove such courage
surging taller than what heights
a man could bear to fall

cowardice lurks veiled inside
all stations of men ever known
no dignity near consequent
that could outshine your valor
all that mattered shone inside
the love for those you held

years have sunken silten seabed
whence we cried out “punk is dead!”
to myself, i have lied
just to say those words
and tears not shed

on that day, when first i learned
of darkness, that could not be heard
it struck me like a sun combusting
fulgurant in its static pulse

6 years ever as my senior
trapped in surpassing each one
tripped up in a past illusion
somehow ripped right from the stars

Jesse, you are with us always
like the ink that left its mark
love etched into the flesh forever
lives on within our minds and hearts

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Uncoiling

smoldering tears well
 
stinging grievous rain
as quietus quells chaos
 
composing in prose
of a melting maiden’s mien
 
to drown in throes of discord
and dreams sown stoic
of woeful implore
 
e’er whorling
like galaxies bereaved of light anew
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Where Lovers Once Lived

time resigns
to dust
in blustery skies

for gone, is all reason
and life bleeds heavenly

with laughter
no longer

looms lingering night

where lovers
once lived
‘neath the shadow’s reprise

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But Here I Sit

i should probably bathe

but here I sit

i should probably eat something

but here I sit

i should probably shave

but here I sit

i should probably go to work

but here I sit

i should probably tend to my ablutions

but here I sit

i should probably get out of bed

but here I sit

i should probably live…

 

 

 

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Eyes Averted

truth
as lies have witnessed

blares like wintry vertex

so clear
and yet, so muted
irrefutable
yet moot

the brute hand of ignorance
stands ruthless beyond compare
e’er bearing down
impressing its mark
from tears
to creeping fears of darkness

but none dare hearken
to such a perilous plight
a sight so present

as stark as night
amid a midnight snowfall

where banished mem’ries

fill the earth
as fast as fractals
feel dirt this parched

a consequence of convenience
and cavalier cheeks
turned in rows

but even roses unseen
flourish

as time will
surely have its way

what eyes behold
belie the boldest truths

lying perished

forever lost
to fallen snow

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woeful rant of december ninth

it’s daunting how certain calendar dates will always haunt us as though to jauntily flaunt their wont to taunt us by sauntering in monty python-esque vaunting leaving us wanting to romp their gaunt face of nuanced incontinence that ought to get knocked off for airing intolerable for having brought up the thought that caused us to pontificate the fate wrought upon our existential provenance perpetrated by their aberrant lack of forethought and penchant toward dalliance from whence commenced the relentless onslaught of events that rendered my once surrendered and tenderest heart unmendable when it was dealt the torment of indelible dolor that then was denied us our requisite need pending urgently for venting with hell-bent intentions to transmute their countenance into convenient compartments to fit in a seedcoat indeed to be planted so that everyday we could then inundate its existence with chants of the pestilent waste of our years worth of tears having instilled new fears which had never before been our burden to bear because they did not care to veer far from the path e’er imparting the wrath of their crass importunes swiftly sealing our doom having nary just married and barely a groom with the newfound misfortune of wary intrude looming ominously in omnipresent brood deconstructing the flustered states of our distress questioning every instance of intimate caress with the last lover she should have ever undressed but our world has collapsed from the lack of regard held by rogue gigolos traipsing through my backyard but alas i digress lest my chest wrest this heart now bereft of the love that fluoresced like the stars no sooner to return to the ruinous remnants that went up in flames when you burned down the bridge that should e’er led us back home where our love had lived but we’re yet still alive writhing spiteful remains from the love once effusive imbrued by disdain from the rains of tumult in tempestuous skies e’er enduring to obscure the fate long denied but i’ve tried and i’m tired so again i must hide from the prideful contempt of the ire in your eyes though i rant and i rave we had both been to blame just two bedraggled husks near combusting with pain still i would never change even one single day in spite of my passe seditious display i would still grant the last word as yours now to say…

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