Measures More Than Justified

i swear to you
if one more fucking ant crawls on me
i will lose it

what the fuck
has led them here
i haven’t any food to forage

where the fuck
could they have come from
and why will they not go away

how the fuck
has this become the state
of my reality

every step i take
to rid my humble home
of their invasion

somehow summons twice as many
more determined than before

jesus fucking christ
it’s just an ant
how then could it have wrapped
its tiny jaws around my flesh
with such a force for me to feel it

i am but a pacifist at heart
but this incessant onslaught
pesters me beyond the point
of patience and composed demeanor

fuck, i’ll just be honest
their assault has taken quite a toll
i’m hesitant to tell you
of the murderous thoughts
in my head

if not that, then suicide
is fast becoming ever likely
of course, then they would dine upon
my listless corpse
and i won’t have it

even if i stood for hours
smashing every one that came
they would keep appearing
in exacerbated states of ardor

maybe if i went online
to search for homemade bomb instructions
i could build one big enough
to halt their heedless hordes

last time, when i took such measures
all was said and done
no sweat
granted, at that time the circumstances
were far less horrific

it was just a wayward group
of eight jehova’s witnesses
they refused to leave me be
oh yeah, and then those missionaries
mailmen, and that meter reader

let me get back to my point
this siege will not allow for nonsense

since you asked
the answer’s no
i’m not concerned with my new neighbors
church of scientology
whatever in the flying fuck it was they called it

all i really care about
is blowing up those fucking ants
if it should happen others perish
so be it
i can’t be bothered
really

that’s on them
that they were living
as much as it is for their death

shit, i wouldn’t be surprised
if they had been responsible
for sending all these ants to get me
for some fiendishly clandestine reason

oh my fucking god
it’s true
and now i’ve got more work to do

those bastard scientologists
are going to have a blast
and much like it was in the past

i will be the last one standing
bellowing the biggest laugh

Author: Max Meunier

Feminist. Ailurophile. Musician. Poet. Human.

6 thoughts on “Measures More Than Justified”

  1. My dad rerouted a trail of ants to another path. It was funny to see my dad as Ant Commander-in-Chief. But since this is the man who tamed a wasp to ride on his finger, managing ants is probably not that unusual.

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  2. An acquaintance who is a witch said if you see ants in your house, someone is stealing from you. Oust the thief and the ants will go away. Or maybe put some sugar or a slice of watermelon outside to lure them? I get your fucking point though, Max. Good luck! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I really like this, showing what irritation can do to you and the limits you can want to go to to make it disappear. I’m seeing a possible comparison to religious extremism as well. I think that was intentional, but perhaps I’m reading that into it.

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  4. Strange how something as small as ants (or mosquitoes???) can rouse up so much disgust, anger, and discomfort in our lives, and maybe, those ants, are merely, triggers to something bigger???

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