this cyclical sickness
forsakes any semblance
of hope
for subsistence
and futures complicit
in fluctuance flailing
failure never failing
and yet
somehow
i
must refuse
to resign
Preoccupation
to have arrived
is to die
I have since
surrounded myself
with cut-out cardboard
reconfigured with no particular preference
staples and tape
to ward off the hatred
a color completely devoid
of vindictiveness
the windowless model is quite suitable
for I have not the time
to look up
and ahead
I am far too caught-up
in this whole “being dead” thing
oh, what a dreadful façade
[image credit: Jan Toorop]
Sharing Is Caring:
Symmetry
the paradox of a promise
one cannot hold
known so well
ask not why
anxiously fleeing
leaden clouds
of dusted wake
and coerced ruination
blanketing
the black horizon
heaven, pray forgive me
nothing
but the bleakest silence
can allay these blighted days
tempting the mirrored gate
it reveals
that it is time
[image credit: Pablo Picasso]
Sharing Is Caring:
Extant Toll
reeling from the shrill assail
falls entropy surreal
shrieking past in amaranthine streaks
present will
spawn futures fading
fanning flames
of phantom fears
the silphium of self-affliction
arms outstretched
wretched hands of spider-like accosting
insistent to collect the extant toll
mortals of a moribundity
so profoundly mundane
stranded on ledges
of bridges burned
at oblivion’s edge
a futile spiral of lament
into event horizon
[image credit: Freydoon Rassouli]
Sharing Is Caring:
Daydreams
some days
we long to be killed
more than others
to save us
from spilling
our secretive druthers
in rum-soaked confessions
to loathsome ex-lovers
or nameless encounters
with strangers uncovered
shamelessly asking for help
from our mothers
whose salt stings the wounds
from the womb to the gutter
whose ruinous choices
left pagans to shudder
impetuous voicings
so flagrantly uttered
lugubrious lamentations
seethe and smother
you see
i have neither the will
nor the the wanting
to languish in suffering
ever so daunting
i rather prefer
to bestir to the coffin
and slough this infernal coil
right the fuck off then!
[image credit: Edward Honaker]
Sharing Is Caring:
Stoned Miles
ashes eschewed
usher fall underfoot
the remnants
of endless days
gray
and despondent
shuttered
i no longer see
the trees taper
impressions
once flourishing
thought, sound, and feeling
flashing
in shrill peals
a tale stowed surreally
stolen
by flickering
madness
eluding
strangely retold
in a cold, bleak immersion
hours burned frigid
of infernal mind
rue forms a sordid soot
of the soul’s toiling
inward it folds
fueling lucifer’s fire
solitude broods
failures born of inaction
on mattresses
barren
time-worn
and forgotten
mottled
with mildewed crumbs
bones for a pillow
the contrast stings anguish
shone stark
with such loss
beyond even nightfall
its poignancy stretches
these truths
weep beside me
framed by the faint gloaming
the autumn dawn
breaches
as ardent
claims feigning
to never have cared
but the silence
she already knows
[image credit: H.J. Ford]
Sharing Is Caring:
Our Condition
this dream that teems with emptiness
is one I know so well
for it permeates the essence
of existence
despite how it may seem
on the surface of this shell
its reality looms ever
in the distance
the laughter that you hear
is the mirror reflecting tears
transmutated by a diligent subconscious
even when I smile
it is to subjugate my fears
in a world where judgment rules
such fools as Pontius
if I appear serene
it is only to belie
every tempest ever brimming
from within
the depth of this despair
has breached the realm beyond repair
and it’s all that I can bear
not to give in
the worst might never be
save to say this lonesome curse
will afflict the hearts of all
who dare exist
that we will never know
any truth by what is shown
the disgrace of our condition
e’er persists
Sharing Is Caring:
Stoic Submission
even now
when thoughts of her
affronting love’s convention
have shuffled off
the consequence
befalling our mistake
do trails tell truth
of hours attending
context tread anew
disavowing fated remnants
lingering devoid of interest
bleeding web of understanding
weeping reaped
sown of her seed
in retroactive disillusion
memories become unraveled
like the sutures
faintly tethering us
at the tearless seam
so it seems
as days unfolding
shattered moulds
tinged with decay
hinging on pending perspectives
shifting lights shine
fears display
in the barren sands of ruin
truant cheeks
turned weak of will
baring thoughts i pray not bear
surrendered to stoic submission
Sharing Is Caring:
The Aster’s Disk
how do you trust
emphatic assertations
claiming of a love so vital
so unknown
safe and new
all is spoken
as though feelings
never had been felt before
for a moment
nearly falling
to the call
of evermore
pre-assembled sentiments
relentlessly unleashed
lose the power
that was never there
a flower now bereft
of petals
left to tend
the aster’s disk
Sharing Is Caring:
For All I Know
sitting
watching
waiting
get me
the fuck
out of here
how many hours
must i spend
until this hell
is over
and even then
it might not
truly end
for all i know
Max, or Not 
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