As One

hours give way to days

stripped of all
but all things arbitrary

every breath a lulled semantic
waning further with each pull

messengers of life’s surrender
dole out cursory entreaties

just as i
they suffer in a solitude of silent truth

trudging mournfully through the morass
in erstwhile lamentation

writhing in the paradox
of reverie amid eschewal

pray your voice ne’er stray afar
come throes of disavowal

fleeing from these feelings dreadful
reticence of conscious dispose

as we are, hapless to unwind
the circumstance that is time’s bidding

still, i cannot stay the ingress
of my memory’s procession

though i failed to give you ward
when desperation marred your world

so profound was your disposition
that i can now forgive myself

should all the stars above
assimilate in singularity

i trust our souls
will always be as one

[image credit: Marta Kiss]

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This Pill

how is it
this pill
grants me the will
to carry on

it appears
as nil
however, still
i’d simply marry one

vicodin and valium
lorazepam and lithium
temazapam and tramadol

i kinda fucking want
them all

even if their glory
ever fades
into diminishment

issues anticipatory
pervade with omnipresence

what have you
got there
and would you care
to share
the love

if not
tell me where
might i repair
to scare some up

methadone, morphine, and molly
oh by golly gee
they’re great
opium evokes opining
oh please god
don’t make me wait

it might be
you think of me
as being a heedless hedonist

ah, if you could only see
what burdens
doth my life consist

rue the day
you ever have
to compensate
to gain composure

caustic truths
beyond control
servitude of lifelong indenture

dare not judge
this “crutch”, you say
is much more
than your
dearth of knowledge

currently facilitates
go suck on a
whatchamacallit

p.s. i don’t mean
the candy bar. . .

Phantom Filament

i swallow pills
to feel like i exist
to stay my wrists
from bleeding out
and the nightshade
from my mouth
keep the hammer
from the primer
and the blade
untouched by blood
to prevent another haunting
at a wayward viaduct
so the reservoir stays pure
and the oven safe for food
let the rope tend to its duty
and the fires burn of wood
plastic bags were meant for sundries
and policemen to protect
heroin is too depressing
living death begets respect
it’s an irony most shameful
that to suffer is to earn
amid consequence most baleful
while the tastemaker’s face turns
as we follow in the footsteps
of a lifelong detriment
chanting “this is as good as it gets”
in a phantom filament

Favored Detachment

maudlin voices
masquerade
through the night

burning
the ends
of an erstwhile
affliction

fumbling
like infants
with fervent fixation

lamenting
days spent
in a garrulous haste

to dust
turns the water
from bottles
of air

as spirits deplete
without fear
of redemption

tears
of sweet agony
gather in basins

fermenting
‘neath faceless
tombs
rapt in depart

woeful rant of december ninth

it’s daunting how certain calendar dates will always haunt us as though to jauntily flaunt their wont to taunt us by sauntering in monty python-esque vaunting leaving us wanting to romp their gaunt face of nuanced incontinence that ought to get knocked off for airing intolerable for having brought up the thought that caused us to pontificate the fate wrought upon our existential provenance perpetrated by their aberrant lack of forethought and penchant toward dalliance from whence commenced the relentless onslaught of events that rendered my once surrendered and tenderest heart unmendable when it was dealt the torment of indelible dolor that then was denied us our requisite need pending urgently for venting with hell-bent intentions to transmute their countenance into convenient compartments to fit in a seedcoat indeed to be planted so that everyday we could then inundate its existence with chants of the pestilent waste of our years worth of tears having instilled new fears which had never before been our burden to bear because they did not care to veer far from the path e’er imparting the wrath of their crass importunes swiftly sealing our doom having nary just married and barely a groom with the newfound misfortune of wary intrude looming ominously in omnipresent brood deconstructing the flustered states of our distress questioning every instance of intimate caress with the last lover she should have ever undressed but our world has collapsed from the lack of regard held by rogue gigolos traipsing through my backyard but alas i digress lest my chest wrest this heart now bereft of the love that fluoresced like the stars no sooner to return to the ruinous remnants that went up in flames when you burned down the bridge that should e’er led us back home where our love had lived but we’re yet still alive writhing spiteful remains from the love once effusive imbrued by disdain from the rains of tumult in tempestuous skies e’er enduring to obscure the fate long denied but i’ve tried and i’m tired so again i must hide from the prideful contempt of the ire in your eyes though i rant and i rave we had both been to blame just two bedraggled husks near combusting with pain still i would never change even one single day in spite of my passe seditious display i would still grant the last word as yours now to say…