Apropos Creation?

sometimes in life
it’s all you can do
not to hang from the end
of a dangling noose
when ideals falter
from altered epiphanies
self-imposed litanies
taunt us as truth

reasons unclear
hearken feelings concise
as we slowly succumb
to scopolamine nights
on a hollow dimensional plane
of feigned platitudes
sorrowful vice
desperate pleas seeking quietude

labeled as sacrilege
should we repair
to undo the heedless act
of summoning us here
where an iron fist reigns
with such ironic scrutiny
e’er you should mention
proactive acuity

still, none dare question
’til quietus calls
of that which our parents
paid no mind at all
the stigma, long-standing
insists these facades
are gifts that cannot be revoked
but by god

how oddly beholden
to cognitive bias
that we forgo logic
and deign ourselves pious
to then misappropriate
most hypocritically
fate in itself
with such flagrant defiance

if only our efforts
were aimed toward reality
instead, we sacrifice all
for mere fantasy
lacking the merit
to make the distinction
between fact and metaphorical depiction

we must make the choice
to adhere to a mindset
consisting of ethics
not pandered by pretense
for should we persist
to exist with such dissonance
life itself will soon submit
to obsolescence

[image credit: Louis Wain]

Missing

i am
overtaken

by desolate space

once warmed

by the presence
of a comrade
now absent

surrendered
to emptiness

pray not
this
vacant eve

Lost Expression

all that i desire to say
can be found lost in my expression
enshrouded by archaic airs
arbitrary to my intentions

are these conscious thoughts of truth
in conflict with my hidden layers
or is it pretense so aloof
driving rifts through solemn lair

this much i may never know
and such it is i must accept
that all i might forever show
should be not what my heart reflects

Chaotic Pedantry

these, my thoughts
a plague of vague and divergent plagiarizations
indiscriminately pilfered in epic proliferation

culled and culminated
an insipidly loquacious clamor
pulling at the seams
of a precarious defenestrator

sonorous disquietude
of pointless quips methodical
poised with impropriety
imprudently parodical

pondering the response
spurred by unintended implication
posed from every angle
with fastidious consideration

formulating fears quickly forestalled
and then falsely inflected

internalized dialogues
disseminated and dissected

infiltrated by effusively
flourishing fantasies

in fluctuating malformations
of infernal lunacy

frantically then bantering
a bevy of inbound semantics
transmuting juxtapositions
chaotic thought pedantic

poring over every nuance
with a painstaking precision
lamentations
over lingering lexical aberrations

an incessant onslaught
of neurotic errings syntactical
cringing at the notion
of the permanence of erstwhile drivel

ever ready to unravel
by mere random incidence
so unwittingly interweaved
with arbitrary intermittence

why must it be so
that my mind never ceases inundating
every thought that fills my head
with copious neuroticisms

moored and then mechanically mulled over to such mundane measure

maladaptations of mind-numbing malefic discomfiture

omnipresently presaging
prominently ominous

a vomitous slew so profusely foul and insalubrious

besotting of verbosely vulgar surreptitious linguistics
repetitious literary folderal inefficacious

unrelentingly attending all obsessive inclinations
descending into grammatical quandaries sans hesitation

requisitely structured with laborious alliteration
assonance and consonance or else subjective condemnation

were that my implores could ever be expressed externally
surely they would lock me up then quickly throw away the key

cognitive calamity at this degree of grave affliction
begets one naught but a ticket to the mental institution

left bereft of any hope for one’s existential salvation
in an exile of the vilest form of human deprivation

i must then be heedful in revealing my indisposition
if you would excuse me from thus furthering this exposition

Daydreams

some days
we long to be killed
more than others

to save us
from spilling
our secretive druthers

in rum-soaked confessions
to loathsome ex-lovers

or nameless encounters
with strangers uncovered

shamelessly asking for help
from our mothers

whose salt stings the wounds
from the womb to the gutter

whose ruinous choices
left pagans to shudder

impetuous voicings
so flagrantly uttered

lugubrious lamentations
seethe and smother

you see
i have neither the will
nor the the wanting

to languish in suffering
ever so daunting

i rather prefer
to bestir to the coffin

and slough this infernal coil
right the fuck off then!

[image credit: Edward Honaker]

In Life

machinations
of the mind
maligned
by self-imposed design
the designated driver
of a maladaptive
disposition
dislocated sediment
intent on masochistic dreams
essential to the martyrdom
indoctrinated by a matriarch
of drastic sadist aspect
etched upon
wretched projections
usurped by alienation
parchment poisoned
by a plucked pen
paraphrasing false-inflections
pulse diminished
inquisitions
redress of aloof forsaking
rooftops shunned
by dawn’s awaken
caustic disclaim
trained on trauma
interred at the infirm
spun of silk
encased chrysalis
incrementum in reverso
verses of accursed squalor
umbral indigent
in freefall
following in footsteps
fading faster than
the self-effacing
imbrue of inebriation
seesawing with undulation
diametric poles
in flux
de facto devolution
folding inward
on the precipice
event horizon somnolent
a fate inferred
and self-fulfilled
through flustered blurs
of blighted pills
spilling the inner-light
and stirring dust to volant heights
in violent hues of tapered will
through eyes of silent dearth
and death as breath escaping
flights of fury
cilice of a soul
unfurling life
like crimson shed
in water
blissful skies of sought ensconcing
molded by the want of naught
but for the promise
of demise eternal
more than earned
in life

[image credit: Harry Clarke]

Hapless

i paint these scenes
of wretched failing

deemed “self-sabotage”

subconsciously mincing
the ignorance
of their inception

a wavering vice
of weakness

unwilling
to address the fear

that haunts me
when the moon retreats
to plot my next misstep

tread in torpor
culled of cowardice

and disclaim
framed most vapid

pain
of an affliction

sown
then left
for fools to reap

its tainted toll

so hideous

hidden
as discordance
falls upon them
as they are

the ones
whose only inquiry
is sanctioned
by the sky

those toward whom
my only truth
belies itself

through bridges
burning

hapless
just to turn
and face

what fate
succumbs to acquiescence

burden
of my bastardizing

fraught upon
their sacred ward

i swore
not to avow

this servile sword
wrought
by the eve’s availing

sable-sotted
sentiments

abscond
to the abyss
of midnight

[image credit: Kay Nielsen]

Stoned Miles

ashes eschewed

usher fall underfoot

 

the remnants

of endless days

 

gray

and despondent

 

shuttered

 

i no longer see

the trees taper

 

impressions

once flourishing

thought, sound, and feeling

 

flashing

in shrill peals

 

a tale stowed surreally

 

stolen

by flickering

madness

eluding

 

strangely retold

in a cold, bleak immersion

 

hours burned frigid

of infernal mind

 

rue forms a sordid soot

of the soul’s toiling

 

inward it folds

fueling lucifer’s fire

 

solitude broods

failures born of inaction

 

on mattresses

barren

 

time-worn

and forgotten

 

mottled

with mildewed crumbs

 

bones for a pillow

 

the contrast stings anguish

 

shone stark

with such loss

 

beyond even nightfall

its poignancy stretches

 

these truths

weep beside me

framed by the faint gloaming

 

the autumn dawn

breaches

 

as ardent

claims feigning

to never have cared

 

but the silence

she already knows

[image credit: H.J. Ford]

Sure Then

this existence

has lost its appeal

— “i’m sorry, what was that?”

please excuse me for one moment…

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

that’s right… it never had any to begin with!

 

 

∼carry on then∼

 

[image credit: Francisco Tamagno]

 

 

 

Let Me Tell of No More

hope

like humankind
is truly
the cruelest

if not all too usual

like a challenger deep
i could have easily
inhabited the trenches
of the great mariana

if left to my own devices

in a steady stream
of entropic existence

this, is not to say
that my soul would not
seep through the fissures
absconding to hellfire
in iron-core iconoclasm

my chosen paths
are minded with honors
and badges

it’s the acclimatization
and the stayed deprivation
that stave off the gravest of fates

. . . to be stricken
with the malignancy
of minded emotion
in the spur of the moment

to. . . argh

to, ~ f e e l ~.

for when i do
dimensions cry, uncle

as my watery ways

shear gaping rifts
through the planes of perception

. . .

i dwelled in detachment

living tortuous death

every breath a burden anew

but at least i knew~

now, time has wrought trickery
upon my soul’s dispossession

and the distance which spans
amid consequent disparity

has displaced my consciousness
landing a final blow
upon all i have known

rent by the unspent
tempestuous
turbulent
fervid
and festering
the influx of blustering
bombast so drastically
thrashing my breast

an impetuous
press against her lips
precious

all the years of my life
have always belonged
to her

this, i know
will inhabit my bed of dirt
when i greet the insect hordes

but more than just this
it was the mistle-streaked
visage since sallow and sullen

the culminating of hearts
acquiescing

a lifetime flashed before me
in that briefest of respite

much like a comet streaks
through a burst sky

only now

had its tail ensnared
the pulsating mass
fresh from my chest

and thus it was shot to the sun
in an instant

and such elucidation
diffused forces known

as gravity left me
to fall back to earth

nothing
can tell
of the ghastly descent
whence i combusted
to dust
from the old familiar sphere
of atmos and mir

thunderous crashing
i plunged into depths
the source of eternity’s tears
ever felled

in an instant
they passed through me
like ghost particles
colliding

i can no longer abide
let me now stay my tongue

take my leave
for this grievance
shall venture no more

boring all
like the sting
has bored holes
where my eyes once beheld–

let me tell
of no more

[image credit: Tess of the Storm Country (1922) featuring Mary Pickford]