last time i told myself that it would be the last
but here i am again looking in the past
my memory so freely flees into the breeze
the instant that the moment passes before me
i can’t explain my inability to see
from the perspective granting objectivity
much like a cognitive bias against the self
in which my own best interests have been shot to hell
what makes it worse is everyone else seems to know
so quick to remind me wherever i may go
when all is said and done they say “i told you so”
as though their words are something to have been bestowed
well i suppose they may have something of a point
i’m still compelled to thusly disconnect their joints
the only thing that’s worse than chronic fucking up
is hearing it regaled by someone acting smug
you’d think that this alone would solve things without fail
but i am human; ever prone to get derailed
and for this very reason i am bound to kill
when comes a cocky bastard telling me to chill
which would explain the growing pile in my back yard
composed of corpses of those lacking such regard
take my advice when someone states they’ve had enough
that’s not the time to try and call them on their bluff
nor is it prudent to act disingenuous
nor to allude to any breaching of one’s trust
i’m not just preaching some type of friendly heads up
if you keep reaching, your demise will prove abrupt
of course, you’re free to take this any way you want
just don’t act so surprised when i do as i am wont
in case you missed it that’s the wonton reverie
of your destruction since you chose to fuck with me
Mistaken
when I tasted
the ground
my world
was no longer
for what I had found
was stronger than death
when my face
grazed the earth
my sight
torn right from me
I gazed at my worth
were life not a freedom
the crashing of bones
knees, elbows, and skull
would fall into silence
upon urgent moment
the brashness of one
fleeing from the lull
appallingly useless
for all, consequent
Aversion

ere i walked the shadows
of a shameless life eschewed
i sometimes talked for hours
on the telephone
’tis true
attending to the inbox
which would hold my correspondence
until one day i stopped
having become too despondent
seven years have come and gone
and still i have not looked
nor listened to my messages
not even on facebook
this plague pervades
most every aspect
of my adult years
i since have lost the respect
of my family and peers
for they can’t see the reasons
nor the logic of my plight
its tragedy is lost
amid the inference of their slight
presuming that it must be
that they’ve somehow drawn my ire
some say i’m maladjusted
others think i have retired
i cannot help but panic
upon hearing rings and tones
instilling in me frantic feelings
reeling in my home
truth be told i have disabled
every last alarm
and push notification
for they only cause me harm
and should you try to reach out
with an intention to touch
you’ll not invade this redoubt
that has long since been my crutch
and if you are to know me
then you first must understand
even if you are the homie
you can talk to your own hand
Due Decorum
is it so uncouth to ask
for thee to stay thy tongue
and not disturb the black damask
enshrouding ablutions
for there exists no merit
to be found in such affronts
doth no one wish to hear it
underground nor in the sun
have we lost all decorum
at the cost of decency
to air in public forum
matters begging secrecy
instead we see the plague
of people primitively prone
to posting private pictures
posing on porcelain thrones!
pray not let us devolve
into unsavory savants
with thoughts left to revolve
around our basest needs and wants
one mustn’t attend charm school
to find value in mystique
we’ve no need to defend fools
when they’ve failed to be discreet
thus, i submit we gather
every vulgar philistine
and banish them to exile
to the isle of shrillest screams
for it is of their own accord
to wax on chamber pots
therefore we dare not spare the horde
an expeditious plot
of funerary provenance
for actions crude and crass
for devotees of elegance
i speak on your behalf
Promised Hours
why is it
that only upon leaving
do you voice
lament
fleeting amid
sentiments
and sudden
things to do
promised hours
perish
in a flash
of wistful
alley light
scarce
your words
remain
as token trials of hope
since lost
hanging in denial
are faded smiles
and fusty
mothballed coats
in the closet
strung like latent
trysts
listless
and long forgotten
Out of Sight…
spiders get around most freely
out of sight and out of mind
fiendishly partaking in some really
questionable crimes
some are stealing errant crumbs
while others might be playing dumb
some I’ve heard meticulously
fuss over cleaning their guns
why must they be up to no good
can’t we all just get along
it just seems odd that they should
keep trying to swipe hits from my bong
weird thing is when they become stoned
spiders have a gay old time
watching episodes of star trek
golden girls and classic vines
look out though, for when their munchies hit
they take no prisoners
trust, you would prefer not to
like Bartleby the scrivener
oh my god they’re so obsessed
with watching me all night and day
every time i start to undress
i hear every word they say
maybe if they had some business
of their own i could relax
sadly it would seem their interest
is quite honed in on my back
what i mean to say is my bum
boy, they just can’t get enough
then again, it’s kissed by the sun
chiseled, and bulbously buff
countless times have i looked up
to find a spider mid-descent
typically, they hover just
to read facebook and make comments
privacy is really just a quaint notion
it’s sad to say
for spiders reign ubiquitous
over each moment, night or day
even if they have intentions
of becoming my best friend
they might at least try to mention
this to somehow make amends
as it stands i swear on my life
they won’t rest until i’m dead
how else did my set of steak knives
wind up underneath the shed
don’t you for one second think
i don’t know of their secret club
i still receive the weekly e-mail
some of which i truly love
judging from the things i’ve read
we’d hit it off quite famously
they seem to dig the talks on TED
almost just as much as me
if i wasn’t so damn shy
perhaps i could initiate
but to them, I am just a fly
awaiting on a silken fate
they’re not like their creepy cousins
building nests from human hair
spiders spin a lustrous gossamer
to weave their webbed lair
sure, at times they might get peeved
and inflict a most painful bite
this is how most spiders grieve
their spouse you swallowed just last night
follow my advice and keep that
gaping orifice shut well
you don’t want to hear all of the stories
that I have to tell
please just feel their fuzzy fur
they’re cuddly like a teddy bear
spiders rock, you must concur
you’d better, for they’re everywhere
Rant On Usurped Offense
There is no merit in insulting others
We have no need for hurtful words
harmful thoughts
or vulgar behavior
Disrespect does not gain the respect
of those one deems respectable
For every person
whom our words and actions victimize
unwittingly or otherwise
causes our consciences to devolve
until we have devised our own demise
We would do best to just confess
and take responsibility for our own past
including every prior indiscretion
For until we do so
we will be incapable of learning
the lessons necessary
for us to further evolve
It matters not
the company in which we feel free
to reveal the horrors
that our hearts conceal
for there is no possible way
of ever knowing
the personal experience of those around us
which is no less real
Regardless of how well we may think
we truly know them
We cannot afford to risk
the pain our carelessness inflicts
upon the innocent
already victimized by flagrant negligence
Lest we are compliant
as petulantly defiant accomplices
appearing as though tyrants
Abusive words like “slut “faggot”, “fat”, and “ugly”
“stupid”, “bitch”, “retarded”, “dumpy”
“sloppy seconds”, “homo”, “freak”
“loser”, “sissy”, “pussy”, “weakling”
referencing things negative
by saying that they’re “gay”
and generalizing specific groups
from which to draw negative comparison
all of these insidiously vicious sayings
cause hurt
even if you’re ~just playing~
or ~just kidding~
Such offenses cannot be excused
as though unwitting
Be the person standing tall
who speaks up for both one and all
instead of slandering these victims
leaving them to take the fall
When you spew out words like “whore”
you open up Pandora’s box
for chances are
by all accounts that someone
amidst every crowd
has suffered from a horrid fate
of which they cannot yet relate
Thier trauma once again
is visited upon them
distancing them further still
as you insist
it’s your ~free will~
and that they should perhaps just ~chill~
Well, victims more than deserve freedom
but instead, they’re shirked and beaten
Human beings perpetually defeated
by a society so utterly unfathomably heedless
Their self-denounced abusers
asserting with such emphasis
their so-called ”rights”
which they imagine to exist
which tragically intend
to place their offenses
on those who have in fact
suffered by their offenses
As though somehow it were a choice
to have had lived through tragic fates
that innately instill
horrific post-traumatic feelings
fraught with fear
anxiety, unspoken pains we cannot see
suicidal thoughts now more distraught
and all of this for what?
So you can validate your selfishness
by disregarding poignant pleas
from broken-hearted victims
who now stand to suffer
ceaselessly as they traverse
this wretched, thoughtless universe
which treats the victims as the curse
and celebrates abusive verse?
So you can feel so free
to recklessly impose your putrid ignorance
like pestilence
you seem so curiously invested in?
As if you’re being bested
by the simplest of requests
as if it inflicts any stress
comparable to the victim’s duress
upon the advent of associative anguish
by abuse-inflicted reflex?
I truly hope that your own ego
is not such that you would forgo
even basic kindness and concern
for those who you might not know
for the sake of something so absurd
insisting these abusive words
should thus be heard
by victims already dejected and unnerved
presuming that your right to speak
should somehow more deserve protection
than the human beings
most of whom would never cause a scene
instead, they keep their pain inside
while you would flaunt your shameful pride
My friend
you need to get a clue
this issue isn’t about you
I beg thee
please get over yourself
and think for once of someone else
Don’t tread upon the mental health
of victims trapped in private hell
Dare not assume to know so well
the truths of which most never tell
precisely for the reasons
that you seem to be so much compelled
to stand here and defend
until the very death
with all your will
while victims still are made anew
but all you can think of is YOU
If only you would understand
these victims are your fellow man
let me restate that
ALL WOMEN
and since you seem unable
to consider things in terms I speak
perhaps were you able to see
these victims are as close to thee
indeed of your own family
and all your friends
who plainly see your indifference
to silent pleas
from all the pain they’ve suffered through
including that since caused by you
on more than one occasion too
But with your callous caustic mouth
and disregard, you’ve voiced aloud
the pain that they must always bear
has now become a source of shame
which further stifles any hope
for their plight ever to be spoken
which in turn allows for the abuse they’ve suffered
to persist perpetually
until they’ve broken
And for now
which you have as much as acted
as a type of willful co-conspirator
If you figure this to make them somehow less
then let us put it in your terms
so you can be the bigger person
which you then can ~prove~
by showing them that you refuse
to treat them like they’re worthless
Society has ever shown
that pain and suffering not known
to others is routinely thrown aside
its victims left alone
If we refuse to stand up tall
while watching others take the fall
we truly have forsaken all
and yet we dare to have such gall
to act as though we’ve any merit
whilst diminishing the spirit
of the hurt whilst acting
as though we ourselves are bold and fearless
HEAR THIS!
If you’re to know of courage
it won’t come from the disparaging
of those who’ve bravely faced such horror
life cannot replace
and yet you wear upon your face
a smirk so smug of such disgrace
Instead of wasting so much time
perfecting mindless schoolyard rhymes
that aim to somehow thus define
your status in the social climb
It’s best if you perhaps would try
to rise above the bottom line
and speak to others
words with kindness
in your heart
not by design
nor pantomiming words so cruel
that leave you looking like the fool
who disregards the circumstance
of extrinsic experience
Of these pleas do I grow weary
for they seem to breed contrary feelings
from the heartless egos
people cannot seem to let go
Understand that any time
you place regard for others behind
your own arbitrary wants
and then proceed to poke and taunt them
it will only ever serve to reveal
your own heart perverted
when such pain can be averted
you choose simply to desert them
The courtesy of politesse
is no longer of interest
for if you hear these words and balk
then I insist
thou must fuck off!
Find a Way
do or don’t
it doesn’t matter
all the world’s will
yet won’t
try your best
or give up trying
don’t deny
that both are
moot
should you stay
or should you go
you shouldn’t
have to ask
to know
that
every woman
every man
and every fate
is ever damned
for love
will find a way
it’s true
to court
the death of me
and you
Please, Make It Stop
love is
a cancer
it cancels
out logic
we can’t
seem to stop it
from consuming
all
our minds
rarely consent
our hearts
inconsistent
its threat
ever constant
consigned
to its fate
Pavlovian Lapdogs
petulant plebians pandering prose
spawned out of spite from depictions composed
of pithless and petty ploys poised to appease
a princess of poisonous pedantry peeved
with patrons plucked patiently tempered by pique
their person purloined spurred by spurious speech
supinely complying peremptorily
pliable pupils impaired by erred pleas
obsequious as pavlovian lapdogs
a precedent of appalling demagogue
imparting dispatch surreptitiously reaped
to pose such a perfect impression oblique
to passively present through public dispose
promotion of disreputable depose
to please their despot’s pathetic importunes
perilous plots born of perceived impugn
sparing none, for all are prone as her pawns
through solipsist eyes of contempt and despond



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