Nope to Tope

if you sip fermented suds
profusely in a single sitting
then proceed avowal
of your presence in a social setting

one can only thus beget
a fate that will be most befitting
possibly including
any number of unwitting weddings

litanies of harbored loathings
followed with disclaims of kidding
rendezvous with mannequins
storefront displays of heavy-pettting

dubious abundance
of embarrassing effusive biddings
exhibitions laced
with histrionics amid wardrobe shedding

speech impediment prohibitive
featuring untold spitting
charmingly accentuated
by seemingly absurd sweating

carrying out any context
applicable to the term “hitting”
heading out at 3:30 AM
to buy replacement bedding

unabashedly revealing
things you should not be admitting
vomiting profusely
on the apple of your eye’s besetting

pandering to people
of whose presence you should fast be ridding
crucial factors overlooked
with neither due process nor vetting

utterly oblivious to foulness of one’s own emitting
warranting an ire
thus consequently of a misbegetting

there’s no telling what array of crimes
you might end up committing
staying home alone seems like the last thing
that you should be dreading

circumstance must not be left
to one’s inadvertent omitting
consciousness is not a game of chance
that one should be subletting

if there is a point
to which i’m most laboriously getting
why would anyone partake
of that which they will be regretting

[image credit: Louis Wain]