Flat-Earth Folly

oh my fucking god
here comes a ~flat earther~
please kill me now

run for cover
hit the deck
abandon ship
cuz, um, like, …wow…

seriously
this has got to be the worst
prank yet to be attempted

i keep waiting
for someone
to jump out with a hidden camera

science cannot be refuted
just because some online ~picture~
caught your eye
when dubiously analyzed
by crazed youtubers

auto-played from your suggestions
generated by your searches
from the time a plane flew by
and left a trail you deemed suspicious

several hours of heavy-lidded thinking
found you fast ascribing
things inconsequential
to a mass conspiracy presiding
thereby taking your attention
off of matters not imagined
validating fears
that critical thought has since been supplanted

it’s all so demoralizing
i don’t quite know what to do
who in the flying fuck believes
the stupid shit they see on youtube

then resolves to disavow
accepted scientific knowledge
thinking themselves ~well informed~
such ignorance elicits vomit

i can hardly bear the smug expression
nor the pompous manner
when these freaks regale me with their idle incoherent blather

dude, crepuscular rays do not radiate
based upon distance
it’s a matter of perspective
and the concept of divergence

indeed, it’s quite obvious
your “dissidence” is ~heaven sent~
forget that flat earth
first was pandered
by religious government

from my observations
the conspiracies and paranoia
are a culture born of drug use
and subsequent hyponoia

idle hands and online access
ignorance and primal fear
coalesce to deviate the mind
beyond hope for repair

too much Coast to Coast AM
all night while driving eighteen-wheelers
in the middle of nowhere
no wonder y’all think this shit’s real

yes, i may be generalizing
but my point should be apparent
it requires some major shit
to beget notions this aberrant

i’m no scientist
as you can clearly see
i’m just a doofus
but it doesn’t take a Ph.d
to know what simple truth is

[image credit: Louis Wain]