Kittens Born Upon My Chest – Part One


Luna was a neurotic cat. A stunning, graceful, talkative, angling, gorgeous, Russian Blue, neurotic cat. She was my first cat. Not accounting for the numerous kittens any one of us had brought home with the intent of them becoming a part of our dysfunctional family (if you’ll pardon the redundancy). Only to have several weeks or so go by until one day my mother would announce that it wasn’t working out as she had hoped so she had to “give it back”. It wasn’t until years later in the most tragic foreshadowing of the century did we come to learn what she really meant by her ambiguous words. To my utter horror and dismay, it turned out she would callously drive these poor little innocent kittens out to some remote spot where she felt they would no longer be any trouble to her and leave them to fend for themselves. Heartlessly abandoning them without even so much as a second thought. This would be but one of an endless array of abusive horrors inflicted upon the innocent by my megalomaniacal mother’s hand. But for now, I can only digress…

Me & Luna Day One
Mira & Luna Day One

Luna was our first cat together. After having been a couple for about a year and a half we knew we wanted to bring a cat into our family in spite of the fact that we were not living together at that time. It was on a typically sunny southern California day that we randomly walked into the pet store after shopping at the neighboring record shop. Situated near the entrance, was a large birdcage in which two ridiculously adorable kittens were playing with one another. Initially, we had found ourselves drawn to the black and tan striped male as he seemed vigorous and full of life whereas the other kitten was a female with a plain gray coat and seemed very timid. Though we hadn’t planned it, we agreed that it was time to become kitty parents. We had decided to go with the male but as we were just about to ask for help we noticed that the reason the female seemed so timid was because the male was incessantly tormenting her with brutal kitten ferocity. We resolved that we would have to rescue this poor girl from her abuser. This was the day we met Luna.



Once we had gotten her home and away from mister tyrannical kitty, Luna’s adorably unique personality began to flourish. To this day I have yet to encounter another animal as vocally expressive or with as vast a range of communicative expression. She would literally hold complex conversations with you and she made no qualms about stating her demands. One of her first nicknames was “angles” as she would relentlessly try to sneak in from the last direction you’d be keeping an eye on when eating any food which she so hotly pursued.


We thought it would be best to wait to have Luna spayed until she was closer to her “teens” or young adulthood. Shortly before we were planning on taking her to the veterinarian she somehow magically escaped our fastidiously tended sentry and was gone like the wind. This was a devastating period that saw Mira and I tearfully posting lost cat flyers all around our neighborhood and beyond. Just when we thought Luna was gone forever after a week-and-a-half of wandering in search of her, Luna just casually appeared out of nowhere and resumed her routine without falter. Little did we know the true reason behind her sojourn.


Over the course of the next few weeks, Luna began eating a lot more food and gaining weight. It took us longer than it should have to realize she had become pregnant. Luckily, Mira, being of keen mind, had the foresight to research the possible situations that might arise when an extremely neurotic cat is giving birth. Using the information she had found, Mira prepared a birthing kit in preparation for the big event. This included sterile scissors for cutting the umbilical cords, dental floss to then tie off the umbilical cords, plenty of clean towels and warm washcloths to clean the newborn kittens off with. Also, providing a comforting area in which to give birth. Mira had read that there are some cases in which the neurotic mother can become confused, aloof, or in extreme cases, possibly harm her kittens.

When the moment finally arrived, Mira’s insights paid off, as Luna was completely terrified and confused as to what could have possibly been taking place with her body and the goopy little miau machines that kept coming out of her. Mira and I fully assisted in every aspect of the births. One by one we tore open the birth sacs, snipped the cords, tied them off, and cleaned them up. All the while comforting Luna, who had placed her complete trust in us.

baby-kitts-first-batch-first-battle                          copy-of-baby-kitts-first-batch-sooo-tinybaby-kitts-first-batch-nurse-luna1-2

After the extremely traumatic event there ended up being five kittens. Two boys and three girls, one of whom was a runt. We named them Tiberius after captain Kirk, Linnell after John Linnell of TMBG, Ash due to her coloring and after Ash from Evil Dead, Rinoa after the character in Final Fantasy VIII, and Pixie since she was the tiny runt who we would ultimately always call Wettles, due to the odd chronic moisture issue she had during kittenhood. They were the fucking dorbsest things that ever existed and we had no intention of splitting up the family…

They chose the top shelf of the closet as their spot
Linnell Just Hangin’ Out

To Be Continued…

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