This Pill

how is it
this pill
grants me the will
to carry on

it appears
as nil
however, still
i’d simply marry one

vicodin and valium
lorazepam and lithium
temazapam and tramadol

i kinda fucking want
them all

even if their glory
ever fades
into diminishment

issues anticipatory
pervade with omnipresence

what have you
got there
and would you care
to share
the love

if not
tell me where
might i repair
to scare some up

methadone, morphine, and molly
oh by golly gee
they’re great
opium evokes opining
oh please god
don’t make me wait

it might be
you think of me
as being a heedless hedonist

ah, if you could only see
what burdens
doth my life consist

rue the day
you ever have
to compensate
to gain composure

caustic truths
beyond control
servitude of lifelong indenture

dare not judge
this “crutch”, you say
is much more
than your
dearth of knowledge

currently facilitates
go suck on a

p.s. i don’t mean
the candy bar. . .


Phantom Filament

i swallow pills
to feel like i exist
to stay my wrists
from bleeding out
and the nightshade
from my mouth
keep the hammer
from the primer
and the blade
untouched by blood
to prevent another haunting
at a wayward viaduct
so the reservoir stays pure
and the oven safe for food
let the rope tend to its duty
and the fires burn of wood
plastic bags were meant for sundries
and policemen to protect
heroin is too depressing
living death begets respect
it’s an irony most shameful
that to suffer is to earn
amid consequence most baleful
while the tastemaker’s face turns
as we follow in the footsteps
of a lifelong detriment
chanting “this is as good as it gets”
in a phantom filament

Ode to Pills

Them: “Stop complaining! All you need to do is to pick yourself up by your bootstraps! It’s all in your head!”

Me: “?!? No. You don’t seem to understand. Some people don’t have bootstraps, some don’t have boots, some don’t have feet, some don’t have legs…”

~little pills are my pals
when my life begins to fail
and i fall off the trail
as the entropy prevails
give me doses composed
in the golden ratio
sans acetaminophen
chock full of hydrocodone
on second thought, i’ll forgo
opiates not fit for rogues
oxycontin i want now
80mg green and round
chewy bits of heaven sent
to render me relevant
granting me everything
such as basic functioning
so that i may exist
as more than a listless void
in the languid abyss
so complicitly adroit
what was one small step for a man
is one giant leap from the pits
stepping into the life
that e’er eluded invalids
for you see, pills are power
pixellated fire flowers
or a box labled POW
so that you become the now
like a Cylon equipped
with regeneration ship
like Picard on respite
in a scant Risa tunic
Larry David when imbued
as a Gentile not a Jew
it’s the feeling of the Bern
when all hope has since been spurned
for you see, it’s never just
dust one simply needs to brush
it’s depression so deep
impressing upon our sleep
where we find no escape
ever looming is our fate
wracked with pain, guilt, and fear
falling only on deaf ears
once again, i assert
though eternal is this hurt
it is such that i will
trade my kingdom for some pills~