I Prefer Not To.
i could hide
for a hundred
thousand years
and still emerge
with the same spectrum
of debilitating fears
avoidance does nothing
to avail our evolution
for the breadth of our experience
carries on in our dearth
and distant earths
may yet reveal
our present form unknown
nonetheless
a consciousness
cannot eclipse
its own immortality
for all eternity
and yet . . .
[image credit: Fumihiro Kato]
some days
we long to be killed
more than others
to save us
from spilling
our secretive druthers
in rum-soaked confessions
to loathsome ex-lovers
or nameless encounters
with strangers uncovered
shamelessly asking for help
from our mothers
whose salt stings the wounds
from the womb to the gutter
whose ruinous choices
left pagans to shudder
impetuous voicings
so flagrantly uttered
lugubrious lamentations
seethe and smother
you see
i have neither the will
nor the the wanting
to languish in suffering
ever so daunting
i rather prefer
to bestir to the coffin
and slough this infernal coil
right the fuck off then!
[image credit: Edward Honaker]
avoidant
that’s what they
call it
the truth
is that i’m terrified
scared
out of my wits
afraid
of the horrors
that await
in the unknown
abyss
of uncertainty
where all of my dreams
go to die
the term
“avoidant”
to me
implies
willfulness
the only thing
i so desperately wish
to avoid
is this
Max, or Not 