rant of dreams forsaken

In life, we are plagued with many things.
Some serve to compel us forward.
Some, seem only to exist to thwart our pusillanimous progress toward the arbitrary goal of being human.
What on earth is this innate desire to adhere to such ludicrous standards of corporeal existence?
What is this tethering to that which can only be thought of as tormented torturing?

To be able to reasonably anticipate the fate of each moment is a fate worse than death itself.
To know the rhythm of each step.  
The cadence of every footfall.
To know the precise frame of time in which that insidious sliver of seeping sunlight will slip in through the window’s crack to smack you into the oblivion of consciousness.

Beholden to the call of nature’s never-ending reminder that our minds are moored to primal needs to which we must abide.
To know that dreams we hope to reach are ever dangling within our reach on string-bound carrots tied to sticks that sit firmly within the grasp of capitalistic ceremony.
Only to be ripped from our hands as the sky rips off its fleece of sloe that flickered with the promises of worlds we’ve yet to know.
Worlds we once had known.

Our dreams become less reasonable as reason wriggles into our conscious condemnation of the hope we must forgo.
The cost exceeds the measures of the treasures life might show us.

And so, we go from lavish fiction in depictions of our making to the stark and unforgiving scripts seemed written solely to afflict us.
Imprisoned by a temporality that deems our freedom nothing more than fruitless. Scheming to destroy the only things that make this life worth living.

And believe that it’s a given, that regardless of how much we strive to live the lives that linger long in silent songs that writhe in our subconsciousness, we slowly die each time we’re forced to lift our eyelids open.  
To the moment of our hope’s demise, we try to trick ourselves into thinking thoughts in which our dreams aren’t sinking fast like ghostly ships aghast into the vast, dark abyss of bottomless abandon.

So that we might barely subsist.
This is not the life we want.

Dubious portrayals made to convey a fervid fantasy none can achieve lest they bereave their one and only soul’s reprieve by leaving all that could have been. To sleep beneath the silent seas of muted pleas whose surface screams tempestuously with festering feelings of remorse and discontented cries of silent implore.

Born into a life of languishing where anguish rules as king with such an iron fist, the siren’s kiss falls into effigy.
It’s far beyond what’s known as wrong but come the shadow of the dawn we must persist as listless pawns e’er clamoring just to go on.  

For if we were to choose a fate not left effete by our own feet and force ourselves to deviate from what’s accepted and expected we would find ourselves neglected by our peers appearing queer whose scolding sneers and jilted jeers sustain our ever-loving fears of failure as our freedom fades.  As quickly as we can adhere to anhedony-addled tears of consequence beyond compare.

We forsake freedom for the sake of filling holes of corporate waste for ends that we will never taste.
A lifetime spent with egg on our face.

There is no hope for time replaced.
Still, knowing this, we must awaken without time to contemplate our dreams in hypnagogic states that hold the key needed to free our soul from these arbitrary weights.

Inflicted on our conscious being bearing on our consciences absconding with the only thing that would ensconce our existence.
But our purpose has been purloined for acquisition of gold coin in copious amounts of which we’ll never see by all accounts.

As pointless is this penned appeal I must present this truth concealed for I must voice these things I feel lest I succumb to my ideals of suicidal impetus of such unbridled force that thrusts upon me like this bed of bricks from where I now sit writing this.

Thoughts

my expression
airs profuse
ensnaring me
in silent noose
these ceaseless cries
of reckless poise
pen pointless vies
of restless noise
recycled prose
composed of pain
in spiral throes
bereft of shame
enmeshed in mire
moshing through muck
long since retired
from flying fucks
abundant piles
of errant swill
redundant guile
imperiled still
suffice to say
human am i
the price i pay
cannot deny
this truth unmoored
of my behest
a heart obscured
by art beset
but dare i say
i shall persist
for here allays
the impetus
to quash this voice
would surely gain
naught but the vice
of life’s abstain
so hear these words
but heed them not
for rest assured
they are but thoughts

In the Key of Beauty

there is beauty in all things
for it exists within our words.

one mustn’t hazard any
further contemplation.

the time to speak is now.

resonate sonorously
with prosody profound.

each soul must
sing its song.

imbue your voice
upon the world
’til your heart
rings the truth of love.

with harmonic resolve.

My Dear Companion

A beautifully heartfelt sentiment from my dear friend, Christine Ray.

braveandrecklessblog's avatarBrave & Reckless

We have only recently met

But there is a sense of inexplicable

Connection

An easiness of souls

Like greeting an old, dear friend

Whom I share a deep

History with

As if we had shared

A babysitter as toddlers

And peanut butter sandwiches and Fritos

In the lunchroom in grammar school

And protected each other

From others’ hurtful words

Fought off each other’s bullies

On the playground

Provided band-aids for

Each other’s first broken hearts

What is it about you

That feels so comfortable

So much like home?

There is a piece of you

That feels like it could be

A piece of me

Kindred spirits, twin souls

I am struck by the fact

That your bright shining soul

Is easy to embrace and love

Unconditionally, even from afar

If I can feel that tenderness

For your heart

For your soul

That feels at times as familiar as my own

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Listen, For I Have Kept A Fanatic Heart -by Ray Smith (Poetry Magazine Feb 1944)

Some poems seem to reflect the very essence of our being on an intimate level.  This is the poem that I most relate to.  The poet, Ray Smith, also happens to be the grandfather of my primary source of inspiration in my personal life.  My wife, Mira Meunier.  Ray was a poet who enlisted in WWII to serve as a combat medic.  He fought in several of the most noted battles, one of which was the battle of the bulge.  It’s interesting to see the marked change that took place in his poetry from the period before his deployment to the period after which he had experienced the horrors of warfare.  This transformation can be observed in the poems published by Poetry Magazine during those years found here https://www.poetryfoundation.org/search?q=ray+smith&refinement=poetry_magazine&page=2 for anyone who might be interested in reading them.  He would become a decorated soldier, having risked his life on numerous occasions to save his comrades. Speaking of comrades, in a vulgar display of cruel irony, he was blacklisted for being a communist after having served his country.  He spent the remainder of his years serving as the library director at several universities and served twice as poet laureate for the state of Minnesota.

How Can I

with time erodes the roads of hope
as seconds pass without distinction
wedged between the hourglass
in retrospect, a stranger’s fiction
e’er beholden to the past
shackled by fear’s ersatz depictions
diligently deconstructed
prone to dubious perceptions
doled out in fervid procession
sold out to our indiscretion
futures nigh belie the burdens
of reflective introspection
corporate chains restrain our choices
subjugated minds and voices
commandeering our convictions
volunteering our volition
fostering the hour’s dissension
lost inside our own dimensions
drifting states of lone diremptions
kissed by fate’s unknown afflictions
wistful days of rumination
stripped of our only salvation
dripping death with indignation
listless breaths of consternation
consciously resigned enslavement
viciously maligned by deviants
clamoring to hide misconduct
how can i but not give a fuck

In Your Absence – Max Meunier

A recent poem of mine from Sudden Denouement that I forgot to reblog here.

Max Meunier's avatarSudden Denouement Collective

how do i go on
now that this bitter husk
no longer bears your burden

now that shattered skies
no longer paint your visage white

left with naught
but false impressions
framed upon your pillow

and all the stars have fallen
from the absence of your eyes

Max Meunier (Max Meunier Poetry)

[Max states: “I write about the things going on in my life. I am a feminist, humanist, cat loving musician bound by whimsy and the incessant analysis of hyper-vigilant observations.  I am obsessed with words and rhythmically woven wordplay.” We are honored to have him as a member of our tribe.]

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Message to Fellow WP Writers

Thank you for continually inspiring me to express the truth of my experience.  Your words are the force that facilitates freedom.  Be it through your beautiful and profound prose and poetry or your kind words of support and encouragement.  The fact that I am able to express myself because of these things is monumental in its significance to me on a personal level.  Life has been particularly trying as of late, and your presence has helped me in more ways than I am able to express.  I feel honored to be a humble member of this community of tortured souls transmuting personal experience into poetic expression.  I appreciate everything you do for myself, and for one another.

sincerely,

max

Solitude’s Descent

the struggle
to release my fears
from shackled shrills
of obscene silence

pulling further
down with every second

thought since spent

vile undertows
that know me well

spell out this hell
in heavy throes
below
where phantom prose
commiserates lament

each word
wafts ever wayward
in dissociative dimensions

obscured by the illusion
borne of urgency
forgone

enthralled by conscious calls
of a conspicuous collusion

that subdivide the lies
my conscience cries
to stay afloat

that i require
the fundamental sating
trapped in spurned epistles

e’er belies
what blissfully denies
my ignorance

which writhes on
muted shores
secluded

hopelessly exiled

as i succumb
to numbness

of my solitude’s descent