Why I Forgo Expectation

i pondered of your predilections
assayed your affinities
factored in your flights of fancy
calculated your caprice

studied your states of prelation
considered all circumstances
then reflected on the vast array
of things i know about you

wondering what would you most want
putting myself in your shoes
and then, your mother’s army boots
which did prove quite luxurious

with the greatest care i crafted
such a thoughtful course of action
that i might create something
that somehow could convey my feelings

time and effort, ever crucial
afterthought, never afforded
if one hopes to foster fortune
they must forge fastidiously

then i put the pen to paper
poring over every scrawling
most i found inscrutable
i’m spite of conspicuous squinting

some parts were improvisation
others, divine intervention
as you might suspect
the breadth was through aeluroid observation

once the final touch was finished
visions filled my head like bullets
culled from dubious provenance
still-born staples told idyllic

anxious with anticipation
come the moment, i near missed it
when you quickly made a fuss
complaining of my cruel intentions

from an instance several days past
when i said that i would get you M&M’s
but failed most direly
for the size i bought was quitely
an affront to every fiber of you’re being
therefore it would follow that you were beholden to your base compulsion
to disclose most thoroughly
the horrors of the indignation
you were made to suffer
by my selfish nature

which just, never changes

how could i have been so foolish
let this be a staunch reminder
i won’t let this happen next time
for it’s party-size or die!

wait, wasn’t i saying something?

oh well, then i guess it wasn’t really that important…